Food for thought

I did some pondering and processing. Let me share with you.

It can be easy for a missionary to look around and assess the physical evidence. To measure and weigh the pros and cons and determine the validity of their work based upon what they see or how they feel - are these things & this work, worth sacrificing my comforts and luxuries at home? Are these people worth giving up my family and friends? It is easy to validate the sacrifice when you see immense fruit from your labour; or when a ministry is flourishing we can be quick to say "ah yes, I left alot behind but I left it for THIS, this wouldn't be possible if I wasn't here."

That might be true, but therein lies the deception. What about when we don't see fruit? Do we give up and sacrifice only because we have an important job or we see the immediant outcome of our labor? Or do we simply walk out in obedience whether we understand or not? I don't sacrifice according to what I see; I sacrifice these things only for One person; Jesus. We need to walk out in obedience to where he has called us to; there is never any question of validity when we measure our worth and relevance to the call of God. And from that obedience we give God the opportunity to work through us. I trust that I am in the place God wants me and make myself available to be used, wherever that might be.

I think people sometimes have the illusion that missionaries are holy people and have some kind of immunity and direct portal to God and no effort is needed to know Him. Nothing could be farther from the truth. And just as in every human life, before He wants the ministry, before He wants the fruit of our work, before He wants ANYTHING he wants YOU. And me. Our time, our devotion, our love. I can easily be a missionary and participate in all my tasks and leave God completely out of it. It is up to ME to seek God out; to be filled up by Him so that I can love others [easier said than done, I know.]

I have this overwhelming sense right now to look beyond the ministry; the relationships; the visa process; the Portuguese learning; the work (as much as there is to do) and shift my focus. To constantly remember none of those things matter if I don't first have Jesus. And also that those things will flow OUT of a relationship with God; like a byproduct. But first and foremost my priority, ALWAYS, is to know Jesus.

Love must be our motive; we love God first and then because of that love we go out and love others. I do not pretend that I do this or that love is always my motive; I am in the process of learning what that means. I have a LONG way to go. But I do know that I am in the place God wants me, and that gives me assurance that no matter what lies ahead I can be sure He goes with me.

~Heidi