5 Things Every New Mom Wishes Was Socially Acceptable To Say

(Or at least this new mom)

After having a baby there are a few things I wish were socially acceptable to say to other people. 

1. If I don't know you, please don't touch or kiss (especially kiss..) my child. 

I don't know what kind of diseases you have and it can stay that way. I think this is probably more of a Brazilian thing... to touch or kiss a stranger's baby.. but it happens. All the time. I personally would never go up to a stranger and start caressing their child, but apparently that's ok here. It just... irks me. 

2. Don't touch my baby's hands with your dirty ones (or let YOUR child smoother his hands on my baby's face). 

It might sound trivial, but you're not the one who is going to be up all night with a screaming baby who has a fever and can't stop coughing because they caught a cold. Babies (especially my baby) are constantly sticking their hands in their mouth. I saw you pick your nose 5 minutes ago and now your touching my baby. Some guy at church actually picked up Luca's soother and was like "oh that's a neat soother." REALLY?! Gross. I'm not a complete germ-phob.. I just.. be considerate, that's all.

3. Please give me my space. 

Everyone wants to visit a new mom and her babe, and shower her with love and presents. And although I really appreciate all the love and gifts people gave, it is exhausting to constantly have people over - especially in those first few weeks of life when nights and days are all smashed together and you feel like crying out of nowhere. Don't take it personally. Sometimes the best gift you can give a new mom is just some space to chill out. 

4. Please don't assume it's okay to hold my new baby, especially if I barely know you. 

It's a newborn, not a puppy. New moms have a million and ten hormones and emotions and sometimes, for whatever reason (especially when our baby is so new to the world) we just don't want to see him being passed around like a football to people we don't know. I remember Luca wasn't even a week old and we went out, and this lady who I barely know was like "don't put him in his carseat yet I want to hold him." Not.. hey can I hold your baby? But.. give him to me. I had a complete meltdown when I got home. To be fair, not every new mom is super emotional or even cares who holds their child.. but some like me, for whatever reason.. do. The first few weeks are a rollercoaster of emotions and feelings that don't make sense.. so be gentle. 

5. This is the biggest one... Please don't constantly tell me what I'm doing wrong. 

It makes me feel like you don't think I know how to care for my child. Again... this is totally a Brazilian thing that I am currently trying to deal with. If Luca is crying it's, "Heidi he's hungry give him your boob." "His head is all crooked, don't you care?" "Don't change his diaper like that." "You shouldn't put so many clothes on him, he's hot." It's never a suggestion, it's.. you did this and this wrong. A lady actually came up to me in the grocery store when he was fussing and told me it was because his legs were cold. Mind your own business! In Canadian culture, you would just.. not do that. You could suggest something to help a new mom, but you would NEVER be like, "you shouldn't do this or this," or "you did that wrong." Maybe Canadians are too polite but.. it's annoying. I'll figure it out and if I need your advice, I'll ask for it. Simple.