So.. I'm getting married. Excellent proof that miracles still do happen today. I have a few things to say about this.
Infact, as I write this, I feel like there’s going to be a mob of angry Bridezilla’s storming my door after I press send. And perhaps my disclaimer is that I am merely trying to give another perspective on a grossly marketed industry, and am in no way placing judgement on anyone or their choices. My convictions are my own, and I am simply using the avenue of words to portray them. That said, let’s begin.
Am I the only one who thinks the wedding industry is a cut-throat ambitious monster that is generated by pure greed and evil? Ok, ok slightly exaggerated ..perhaps.. but, really. How many millions or more like BILLIONS of dollars are pumped into this industry each year for marriages that don’t even last? It’s like people plan a wedding and forget they’re getting married. I just did a bit of research – I’ve read anywhere from 40 - 80 billion dollars are generated through the industry each year. Disgusting. When I read those statistics I feel slightly ashamed that I am participating in such an absurdity.
I’m starting to see how this momentous event can consume a person. How you can become ruthless and betray your own values. An end justifies the means “I’m only going to do this once, so if I need to spend X amount on a dress, or on the decorations, or on flowers.... I will, at whatever cost.” My question is – where is the line between enjoying your blessings and just abusing them? I went dress shopping last weekend, and was ready to spend a fair amount on a dress, because I too have been pouring over bridal magazines and scouring the internet for “just the right dress” and after talking with a lot of people I came to the assumption in my head, “well I guess this is just something you have to shell out and empty your pockets for.” But I don’t know.. is it? Is it right that someone will pay anywhere from $1000 to $5000 for a piece of clothing you will wear for ONE DAY, when 30,000 children will go to bed without eating? I’m not trying to be dramatic, but that doesn’t balance on the scale of humanity for me. And the scales are already tragically tipped.
After I got home, I went to bed and thought about all the people in the world who won’t eat tonight, who will sleep on the ground somewhere without a blanket, and I’m going to shell out money to put on some material for about 12 hours. And it upset me so much I cried. (I know.. I have no idea how I connected buying a wedding dress with the injustice of poverty and world hungry. Don’t ask. My mind blows my mind.) But how is that justifiable? And what’s more, how does that not bother anyone? The wedding industry is evil. It turns nice people into self absorbed and greedy vain-ists who will betray their souls just to appease the masses. Ok.. I know.. I need to learn to put barriers into my thought process and compartmentalize a little better, but seriously! I have heard and seen people spend $600 on flowers. FLOWERS. Oh my stars, the day I spend 600 bucks on greenery that will get garbaged the next day, someone needs to throw sand in my eyes. WHY?! And all these picture perfect decorations that no one even cares about later, WHY?! Is it really going to make you happier? Is it really going to make you a better spouse?
I’m not trying to be a wedding-grinch, and I AM excited about this process and am enjoying it so far (I promise) but I’m trying to bring a little perspective into a seemingly unmoveable and concrete subject. I don’t know. I want my wedding to be special, and nice and lovely... but I want to keep this perspective in my brain as well. An end does NOT justify the means, the phrase “it only happens once” or “I’m a bride, it's just how it is” does not somehow give me immunity from injustice or a green light to trample over the fragility of human kind just because I can.
I just think people should spend less time planning a wedding, and more time planning to get married and what that really means. There is a difference. And the latter seems to be forgotten about too often. It becomes this huge event that you plan for, rather than a lifestyle you should prepare for. Do you know in one of my bridal magazines there is an ad for a ring or something and it says the following, “..because you will only get married for the first time once.” Hey let’s not even sugar coat it anymore... this marriage probably won’t last, but it’s your first one so at least make the wedding extravagant! Yikes…
My goal is to find the perspective and proper balance between enjoying, without guilt, the blessings given to you... and abusing them and using it as a means to get whatever you want because “it’s your special day.” Once I have come to my conclusion, I shall let you know.
2 comments:
I totally agree! The most expensive thing that we "purchased" for our wedding was the photographer to capture the memories. And that is something I don't regret.
Everything else we thought through very carefully and analyzed the impact it would have on our situation post wedding.
No matter how much money you spend or not, you will look beautiful and have an amazing day!
Yeah... to pay for a decent photographer is something I think is important as well, as those are the memories you are going to keep.
That's a good mentality to have.. to think about post-wedding, as you'll have to live with your financial choices later. :)
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