hmm.

hmmm i suppose i've abandoned this little corner of cyberworld haven't i. not intentionally.. or maybe it was, i don't know. sometimes writing helps me to organize my thoughts, but sometimes they are so jumbled and scattered that i don't even know where to start.

i'm leaving for Brazil tomorrow to visit Deison. we haven't seen each other in almost 6 months. it sounds like a long time. it doesn't feel that long actually. i guess we both just stayed busy and lived our lives in our own separate worlds for awhile. kinda weird i suppose, when you're supposed to be planning a wedding/the rest of your existance on this earth with someone... but my life is just a weird little world sometimes.

i feel like my brain has gone into hypothermic survival mode. i've been so stressed and anxious and freaking out about so many things i think it just sort of crashed and now everything feels kind of numb. i'm not worried, i'm not really excited.. i'm just... here. maybe it's better this way for now.

i'm not really looking forward to the 30 hours of travelling that await me tomorrow... blah. but i am looking forward to the destination.

our relationship would make a great movie. maybe one day i'll write the book and sell the rights to Hollywood for a romantic comedy and become rich. maybe.